The zombie apocalypse hit my Iowa town.
What will you do when it hits yours?
This infographic reveals how kids can prepare
for a zombie outbreak in ten simple steps.
#1: Know the facts
The possibility of a zombie outbreak
in your town increases:
near polluted areas[1]
if it enters the food supply[2]
if you’re within 50 feet of my
Little League coach Mr. Cocoran
(a.k.a. Patient Zero)[3]
This is because contaminated areas are
Zombie Breeding Grounds
of evil monsters come
from nasty places like
toxic waste dumps[4]
of documented
zombie outbreaks
originated from an
infected food supply[5]
My baseball coach, Mr. Cocoran,
is as good at being a zombie
as he was bad at coaching.
And he was
rotten at coaching[6]
#2: READ
Readers of zombie literature are more likely to survive the apocalypse
than those who focus on all other subjects combined.[7]
Everything you need to know about zombies can be learned from zombie books, comics & blogs.
To a zombie, your brain tastes
like the best food ever[8]
9 out of 10
say they prefer
brains to any
other food[9]
The brain size
of kids who like
reading is
1/10 larger
than that of kids
who don't[10]
On average
zombies find
bigger brains
more appetizing than
small brains[11]
Extensive research has shown that
98% of zombies are unable to solve simple mathematical equations
giving you a significant advantage.[12]
Know how to problem solve
because zombies are a big problem
#5: Play Baseball
A field study found that when it comes to disabling zombies with sports equipment it took:
3 Swings
of a baseball bat[13]
6 Swings
of a hockey stick[14]
(and several stabs)
of a ping pong paddle[15]
So play baseball! It sharpens your aim and targeting skills, and that's useful because Zombies can be as surprising as a mean curveball. Plus, it teaches you to work with a team. And you will need to work with all your buddies to defeat zombies.
No one survives alone.
A focus group of zombies who had at least six or more teeth revealed:
92% were easily able to bite through a single layer of clothing, penetrating the skin
33% of zombies were unable to bite through 5 or more layers of clothing, and left to starve
Zombies hang on like a tick, so wear as many layers of clothes as you can. There’s no shame in looking like a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (even when you are battling zombies)[16].
#7: Play Dance Dance Revolution
The music video game teaches valuable jumping, dodging & shuffling skills learned no where else[17].
And finally, stay alert!
#8: Keep your eyes peeled for clouds of flies
#9: Your ears open for moans and groans
#10: And your nose alert for the stench of raw sewage mixed with rotten meat
Learn the rest of my story in
Zombie Baseball Beatdown
by Paolo Bacigalupi

In this inventive, fast-paced novel, New York Times bestselling and Printz Award-winning author Paolo Bacigalupi creates a grand-slam story that will get readers thinking about where their food really comes from.

The apocalypse begins on a day when Rabi, Miguel, and Joe are practicing baseball near their town’s meatpacking plant and nearly get knocked out by a really big stink. Little do they know that the factory’s toxic cattle feed is turning cows into flesh-craving monsters…

The boys’ investigation into the plant’s dangerous practices uncovers a greedy corporation’s plot to sell tainted meat all over the country. With disaster looming, Rabi and his friends will have to bust out their bats to stay alive…and maybe even save the world.

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